this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
