I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
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