note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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