Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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