I wish i was in the wii world.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
