i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
