He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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