I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
be right there i have to get my cape
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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