I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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