Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Randomize
