His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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