Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Swine flu is the new snow day.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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