Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
