stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I just gargled with NyQuil
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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