oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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