Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I think people are normalizing furries
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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