You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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