A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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