I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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