People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
