So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize