so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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