The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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