You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Randomize
