No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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