did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
