she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
