That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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