i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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