Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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