Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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