i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
