Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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