so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
