Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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