Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
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That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
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You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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