fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
