omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
