i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
