I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
