it hurts more in the daytime
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize