YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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