Where did you get a picture of my penis
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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