I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
