THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
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