Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
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