wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
