Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Panties = found
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