The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
