i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
