Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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