How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
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my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
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I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
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